Having just come out of half term frazzled but alive, I wanted to share some of the feelings I felt during it as a working from home Mum to 2 young sons and how I’ve been feeling about dealing with my Mum guilt. I feel so blessed that I can call blogging and YouTube my full time job. I work from home and I get to do every school pick up (albeit not always a pleasure in the mornings, I’m sure you know what I mean!!) every sick day I can be there for them and every holiday I get to spend with them. It is an enormous privilege, although one that does has it’s down side.
With this freedom and flexibility comes with a huge amount of Mum guilt, or parent guilt I should probably say. We started the week full throttle; we headed to the museum, to NCT play dates, to the farm, to groups we never get to go…it was amazing and I loved every minute. How grateful I am to get to spend these days of their childhood with them you will never know.
By Thursday however, the pinging sound of my emails was really beginning to make me feel on edge. I had deadlines and tasks to get done and I felt like I was letting brands down and having to be much less effective than I am used to. I should probably mention at this stage that I was also daily vlogging in February – not a plan I thought through as much as I should have knowing that Half Term was looming!! By this point the boys were absolutely exhausted and it manifested in some bad behaviour and generally a low mood in the household.
By some twist of fate our Thursday plans were cancelled, so I used it as an opportunity to let the boys have a relaxing morning, without having to rush off anywhere for crazy, cool fun. Having started the week wanting to give the boys the best time so that they enjoyed their week off and promising myself not to fit any work in I thought I would try and sneak in a few emails while they caught up on some TV. I realised how behind I was, it made me feel quite tense and I frantically tried to get as much done as possible. The boys loved playing with their toys and having some wind down time, but I couldn’t help but feel guilty that they were not out and about having a wild time! The morning turned into the afternoon and I was still being half parent, half blogger. I was deep within an editing, writing, emailing hole and I was half heartedly letting the boys get into whatever games they wanted to do to occupy them. We’re talking boys here, so short attention spans, right?? We finally managed to get out to visit Henry’s best friend on the way to George’s flu jab (which never happened as it was all out of date!) which they enjoyed but when it was time to leave George started playing up and the next hour was so stressful with bad behaviour. I know, looking back, that my patience was frazzled as I was tense from attempting to work and feeling bad that I couldn’t give them attention, but it ended in a really stressful afternoon and me feeling even more Mum guilt about becoming a shouty Mum.
As a relatively new school mum I am still learning. In fact this half term totally snuck up on me, I’m just still not in the swing of things as a Mum of a school child! From this experience I know I need to go into Easter with a plan – one to not try and fill each day with mega excitement but to also plan some time in for my work, so that there is a defined timeframe and I don’t end up feeling guilty that I am failing on all fronts. I’d love to know how you balance work if you also work from home and how you combat the school holidays!
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