As I sit here on the run up to my first baby’s SEVENTH Birthday, I have to wonder, where the hell has the time gone?! I’m no longer a first time Mum, but now a parent trying to tackle homework and being ok with being beaten by a child at chess.
I wish I had my time as a first time mum again. I see women in the supermarket cradling a newborn baby, slowly walking towards the coffee shop to meet with friends, and I wish I could do it all again. Perhaps not the sleepless nights, although we’re still treated to those now and again, but with the privilege of knowing how short these days are.
The days are long, but the years are short.
This outlook brings about a sort of grief that I didn’t know to expect. As the cliché goes; The days are long, but the years are short, and they really are short. Even the second time around for us I found it hard to “go slow, take each day as it comes”, as we’re so often told to do.
Bringing home a new baby the day your first born turns 2 will do that for you I guess. Busily running around, putting on a family tea party, icing the cake I made whilst labouring in the previous days and making sure everyone else was alright, just hours after giving birth to an actual human being in a mildly traumatic manner. I guess that set the pace on this new journey as a Mum of 2.
I often wonder if I had my time as a new mum again, would I take it slow, savour those cuddles and sleepy afternoons on the sofa, watching endless episodes of Mr Tumble, allow myself days of not getting dressed? Or would I not be able to relax into it? Being self employed is a double edged sword I guess, knowing I shouldn’t take my foot off the gas for too long with my blog, YouTube and social media, but also being able to do it from home during those sleeping hours meant there wasn’t much allowance for rest.
Maybe having a lively 2-year-old dictated what I could or couldn’t do, knowing he would need to be entertained and his different needs met while our new born snoozed. Maybe if I had my time as a new mum again not much would change, maybe it’s not within me to rest and take things slow.
Things I’d Do Differently If I Had My Time Again As A First Time Mum.
Maybe, if I had another baby I would ask for help as a first time mum, and not feel like a failure in doing so.
Maybe, if I had another baby, I would realise that they need to be taught how to fall asleep, literally who knew!?
Maybe, if I had another baby, I would know all the things I actually needed as a first time mum, and realise all the things I’d never use.
Maybe, if I had another baby, I would make time to take things slow, and that work, life and housework (especially housework) would all be there waiting for me when things had settled.
Maybe, if I had another baby, I wouldn’t feel guilty for indulging in a box set, or 2, whilst the cluster feeding schedule put the whole day’s plans up the spout and I had no idea to expect this as a first time mum.
Maybe, if I had another baby, I would definitely tell myself it’s ok to take some time for myself, and not feel guilty about it.
Maybe, just maybe.
What would you do differently if you had your time as a first time mum again?